Speak To My Soul turned 4 today!
Tumblr alerted me that my blog turned 4 today. Wow. That made me stop and take a moment to reflect on how I’ve grown in four years. It all began when I saw this in August of 2009 and it put into words exactly how I was feeling:
I’m changing. I don’t know exactly how yet, but I’m so excited to find out.
Life was good. I was working in a great job, in an a long-term relationship and had loving family and fabulous friends around me. Even so, something was missing I couldn’t quite pinpoint. It was then, I started planning. The next June, I quit my job, sold all my stuff, packed my bags, said ta-ta to my favorites for now in pursuit of following my heart to NYC. I had a yearning to see new things, try new food, learn new words, meet new people - discover the world uninhibited by the influence of the familiar all around me. I yearned to step out of my comfort zone and experience the unknown. An unknown which, quite honestly, translated in my head to a more interesting life.
Today, it was astonishing to review the past four years to see both how I’ve grown, but even more interestingly what has remained constant. As I briefly scanned thousands of posts, I pulled a collection of those quotes and my own thoughts I found most influential.
You can’t plan your entire life. You can only focus on your current happiness — your current city, job and relationships — the rest is just a future maybe. -Overheard during a pedicure.
Some of the most life-shaping decisions you make will be about walking away from good-enough, in search of can’t-live-without. -Shauna Niequist
Today, there was a young man on the subway asking for change. He said his luck had been down for the past few years as the excuse for his current state of being.
You see, I don’t believe in luck. I believe everything happens for a reason and that you have to make life happen as you wish it to be. You must determine and take what you want.
How you see yourself in the world can be made, by anyone, at any time, not by chance, but with enough will and determination. And when life doesn’t turn out the way you plan it to be — it’s time for a new choice in direction. -Me
The questionable decisions we make may not be the right ones, but they are no doubt the ones we remember. Here’s to questionable decisions. -Vegasbab
As Gandhi said, “Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.”
Analysis destroys wholes. Some things, magic things, are meant to stay whole. If you look at their pieces, they go away. -The Bridges of Madison County
The best days are when you don’t need anything extreme or special to happen to make it great. You just appreciate and enjoy what is and that is enough. <3heyamberrae
Sometimes we expect more from others because we would be willing to do that much for them.
Never underestimate the power of silence. -Ralph Galasso
You don’t always have to be so strong. -My Mom
It is a risk to love. What if it doesn’t work out? Ah, but what if it does. -Peter McWilliams
What you think about directs how you feel 100% of the time.
If we listened to our intellect, we’d never have a love affair. We’d never have a friendship. We’d never go into business, because we’d be too cynical. Well, that’s nonsense. You’ve got to jump off cliffs all the time and build your wings on the way down.
What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.
The Truth About Love
You never stop loving someone. You either never did, or you always will. -Me
But is that really how you feel. Or how you think you are supposed to feel? Because there’s a big difference. -Christian Grey
If it’s important to you, you’ll find a way. If not, you’ll find an excuse. -Adam Kmiec
Pain and suffering are always inevitable for a large intelligence and deep heart. Life is too ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence & absence to value presence.
I think our toughest decisions are actually between contentment and interestingness. I think for many of us, the relocation bug hits not because it’s going to make us happier, but precisely because we are not searching for happiness. We are searching for something else. It’s scary. It’s scary to chase the interesting life because it means you are not likely to be content—maybe not ever. -Penelope Trunk
I think you travel to search and you come back home to find yourself there. -Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
Have you ever just stopped and realized that if you hadn’t met a certain person in your life, your life would be completely different? I love how life delivers the people we knowingly, or more-often unknowingly, call for at the exact moment of need—those who will help us, hurt us, love us, leave us, inspire us, remind us, and ultimately shape us into the person we’re meant to be. -Me
And when I was ready to leave NYC, I wrote the following revelation:
"I’ve proved it. I proved that I can do anything I want to do. Be anything I want to be. Go anywhere I want to go. All on my own." she proclaimed. "Well huh," she paused, "Now what?" And then she thought, “Now, now that you know, the question at hand is, ‘What do you want?’”
And while I had lots of new ideas about what was next (e.g.; moving to Portland, buying a Jeep, getting a dog and doing a lot of hiking, etc), what I really wanted to do was see the world beyond how I imagined it to be. I needed to know how it was. I needed to rectify the one and only regret I had in life which was not having studied abroad. You see, I like to see and feel and experience for myself - and believe adventure is the best way to learn. And so I did. I left not knowing if I would be ready to return to Minneapolis when I was done.
Fast forward to having spent a few months exploring and tasting and seeing and thinking - and I became, so excited, to be so excited, to return home to the ones who know my soul most intimately. I had realized exactly this:
Life is truly not where you are or what you do, but who you’re with along the way. And it’s insane how the most exciting things in life don’t feel that way at all when you can’t share them with the ones you love. It is the loneliest feeling. And being lonely is the worst. So I’ve come to believe there is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved in return. And all humans share a universal longing to be known, and in being known, to be loved. -Me
And one simple day spent with good friends after my return, this feeling overcame me:
Today, it dawned on me for the first time ever, that adventure is anywhere and everywhere you choose to make it. This made me incredibly happy.
I discovered the experience often bears little resemblance to the dream. We go after life for the rush, for the high, for the ride. Yet, reality is sometimes nothing like we hope it to be. And I had no idea that being comfortable didn’t translate to “settling” in a negative sense. That I could outgrow my massive itch to go, go go. And that it could feel so good to be so content exactly where I was. Nothing but the experience of it all could have picked me up and placed me exactly where I always wanted to be, beyond the experience itself and I cherish all the moments it took me to get to this final thought:
I found my destiny. Not in far away places, but within myself. -Sonora, Wild Hearts Can’t Be Broken
And so today, I find myself blissfully happy with what’s comfortable and content, and simply wish to more deeply love the souls already close to my heart and those yet to come.